Oh the Places

For you

If you want a love poem, I’ll give you one,
you claim you’re a storm but you’re my fucking sun,
the brightest star in my sky and you shine through the night,
hell the moon and stars combined couldn’t be as bright,
or bring the warmth that you brought to me,
and when I talk to you I think this is how it ought to be,
you, me, and only the air that can fit between my arms,
and you fit that space just perfectly,
but it’s hard to see, this pain went for my arteries, 
and dying of a broken heart is the worst heart disease,
and don’t you see? you think it was you,
that I pushed you away don’t you,
that for some reason you weren’t good enough,
that for some reason you couldn’t claim my love,
But see these words warped into metaphors,
easy to find validation in them like drunken whores,
but for once understand this, and please just listen,
only the thought of you can make my eyes glisten,
when I actually see you my heart begins beating,
my nerves rush me but my worries start fleeing,
I look at you and laugh, not because it’s funny,
It’s so to hide this pain inside my tummy, 
You said it yourself you were waiting for something extraordinary,
I felt like i was monotonous, simply ordinary,
I never wanted to hurt you or to push you away,
I had a blackened mind and heartaches that made me sway,
I was worried as hell that you wouldn’t stay,
You know I have trust issues of course I pushed you away,
Because you were brilliant and lit up my mind,
and yeah i know it sounds asinine,
But i thought the only way to stop my pain,
was to get rid of the one thing that subsided it.
That didn’t even rhyme did it.
I hope you don’t mind but let me go off script.

I didn’t want you to go. But I was scared. You’ve broken my heart three times. Once when you chose Austin. Once when you said goodbye the summer before senior year. and just half a year ago. I’m not ashamed to say I ran out of cowardice. And I would say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But there are things that eat at a man worse than death. I told you i’d love you forever. Those words still ring true on my end. Do they on yours?